Be as Happy as a Seagull with a Stolen Chip - with James Pirie
My neighbours have a lot of seaside paraphernalia and one of their wall plaques says: ” I’m as happy as a seagull with a stolen chip.” As a ranking of happiness I’m not sure how accurate a measure chips and seagulls are, because the birds are incredibly fractious, argumentative and downright horrible to each other in their mad competitive world. But despite falling bird population numbers gulls are a big enough problem for Scottish bodies to holding a summit in Inverness on the winged troublemakers.
The meetings are to include, pest control people, scientists, business, local councils and other interested parties. They will discuss the fraught question of gulls and their droppings, bin raiding and dive bombing of residents in their search for food or the protection of their territories. I have my own gull problemas I live beside the sea where the avian naughty boys cluster on my roof, so we have spent a small fortune and invested in low frequency sounds to deter the blighters: It kind of works.
But the authorities across the nation have classified the seagulls as “out of control.” A local hockey venue in Inverness had to close when gulls menaced players. The council in Dumfries and Galloway was spending in the tens of thousands on bird deterrence after a spate of dive bombings on residents and visitors as the flying menaces searched for food. The
The Granite City, Aberdeen, reported problems with the beasties shoplifting, when a newsagent filmed a persistent offender stealing crisps from his aisles. The gull in question was nicknamed Sam and had a Doritos habit. Sam would stroll into the shop when the door was open and have it away with the delicious snack. It must have a fine fondness for E numbers! The good burghers of Eyemouth reported that gulls were beyond the pale and “out of contro”’ when seven children suffered minor head injuries as the gulls attacked them.
Well here at James Pirie we don’t do “out of control.” It runs against the smooth running of a business that has been going since 1890, that’s a lot of time for gulls to steal chips! What we do do is sell remarkably good goods at fine prices just for you. And I don’t know about you I have detected a bit of a nip in the air of late and what better time to have a dram of the Scotch the warming nectar. To mark the arrival of Autumn we have a number of whisky offers to warm your cockles.
There’s the five start rated best selling thistle inspired Flower of Scotland Whisky Tumbler by Royal Scot Crystal. It’s at half price just now and it comes with a gift box and free gift wrapping when you tick the box at check out.
There’s the half price best selling Edinburgh - Whisky Set which includes Square Spirit Decanter and Whisky Tumblers from Royal Scot Crystal. It comes gift boxed, with free delivery and free gift wrapping when you tick the box at check out.
And there’s half price thistle shaped Flower of Scotland Large Tumbler by Royal Scot Crystal which comes in a gift box and free gift wrapping when you tick the box at check out. This is one of our best selling items too.
