Happy St Valentine

If you are reading this and you haven’t got a present yet, oops! But I suggest to you that you don’t pop down to the mini mart or petrol station. That way lies relationship stress and this scenario.

Roses are red violets are blue, if you buy from the garage you are in the p**

The lines should be:

    The rose is red, the violet's blue,

    The honey's sweet, and so are you.

    Thou are my love and I am thine;

    I drew thee to my Valentine:

    The lot was cast and then I drew,

    And Fortune said it should be you

Obviously this is no use if the horse has already bolted and you have no card and no decent present. So just make a note in your diary for next year to browse James Pirie ahead of the game. We’ll keep you out of the clarts.

Happy St Valentine’s